Because… Wine: 35 Thoughts While Drinking Wine

Wine bottle and glass

Wine. Yes. This post is about wine.

I’m going to admit it now. This is a silly post. This is the Semi- part of my Seminatural life. Well. A part of it.

If you’re friends with me on Facebook, you probably saw this post coming after my status update tonight.

Here’s the problem with wine:
“Mm this tastes good. I’ll have just one more glass.”
Three glasses later:
“You might as well finish the bottle. Then some ice cream. And some crackers and cheese. Why is there no Brie in this house? We need to buy more Brie. I’m going on Amazon for Brie. Ooh look shoes!!”
And now I’m thinking this needs to be a blog post.”

Now, it’s a blog post.

I don’t drink much anymore since I had my daughter, but when I do, it’s usually wine. Deep, red, earthy, spicy wine. Not that white stuff. It all tastes like wood or sugar to me. Red wine has actual flavor. I don’t care if it doesn’t go with fish. I don’t really like fish anyway.

Give me all of the tannins. I don’t want to leave one behind. There is a special thing they do to your palate that no other drink can do. Only the taste of a good red wine can make your tongue feel like a carpet, but in the best way ever.

(Yes. I just said that. I’m not a sommelier. Don’t judge me on my vocabulary.)

I’m on a tangent. Let’s get back to the real purpose of this post.

My brain on wine.

Why does wine make me think silly things after just one glass? I’m not drunk. I’m not even buzzed. It’s literally the mouth-feel that makes me want to drink all of the wines. It’s like being crazy thirsty but water won’t fix it.

  1. “I’m just going to have one glass of wine with dinner. A normal serving of wine. Four ounces.”
  2. “Wow. A glass goes quickly. I’m not even done with dinner. I need more wine with dinner. It’s spicy/ creamy/ earthy/ [add in some flavor here].. I need something to cut the spice/ cream/ earth/ etc.”
  3. “Dinner was good. I deserve a glass of ‘Good job on making dinner tonight’ wine. Just a little more won’t kill anyone.”
  4. “That feeling. On my tongue. Like I need something to drink and the only thing that will quench the feeling is more wine. This is literally a vicious cycle. I should just stop while I’m ahead.”
  5. “I’m going to drink some water before I drink this next glass.”
  6. “Ew. Water tastes so blah. I added essential oils but it’s just not the same as wine.”
  7. “Am I drunk?”
  8. “No, you’ve had like three glasses of wine. There’s still over half a bottle in the fridge. If you have to ask, the answer is no.”
  9. “OK, just one more so there’s an even half. I can have 1/4 of the bottle tomorrow and the rest the next day.”
  10. “You’re not supposed to keep wine for that long.”
  11. “OK fine. One more glass after I finish this one.”
  12. “Is my husband counting my glasses? Does he realize each glass is like 1/4th of a beer? He had a beer with dinner. And then one after dinner. I’m consuming a lot less liquid than him. And a lot less carbs. And a lot less sugar. He better not be judging me.”
  13. “Babe, are you judging me? Why are there no snacks?”
  14. “Ohh! Snacks. I love you.”
  15. “These snacks would go good with more wine. And there’s still 45 minutes left to this episode of Game of Thrones/ Walking Dead/ Bones/ Blue Bloods/ you get the idea.”
  16. “The snacks are all gone. I wish I had something else to fill my belly with. What tastes good with wine?”
  17. “Oh. I know! Wine.”
  18. “Looks like I’m having just 1/4 of a bottle tomorrow. Where did all the wine go?”
  19. “Mmmm. Wine tastes good. Winey wine wine. Is it weird that my dogs kiss me on the mouth? Do they like wine too?”
  20. “Babe, look… The dogs love wine! Hahahahahahahahaha.”
  21. “Shut up. Of course I’m not actually going to waste this precious wine on dogs.”
  22. “No wine for you puppies. This is mommy’s wine.”
  23. “One more glass. Just one more.”
  24. “Oh, there’s not much left. I might as well dump the whole bottle in there.”
  25. “Whoops! That’s more than I thought. Well, I can’t waste good wine.”
  26. “Babe, is this show almost over? Because I love you and I love wine and I want to finish my wine before I cuddle with you.”
  27. “Babe. Babe…. BABE!”
  28. “Do we have any ice cream?”
  29. “How did this show end so fast. That did not feel like an hour.”
  30. “OK. Let me finish this glass before we go to bed.”
  31. “It’s wine. I can’t chug it. I’m not a neanderthal. OK. I’ll just take big sips.”
  32. “Have you seen my water bottle? I’m gonna need it later tonight.”
  33. “ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz….”
  34. “Never again will I drink a whole bottle of wine. Never again!!”
  35. “Oooohh! Wine!”

Anyone know what that carpet feel is really called? Please comment!

Also, tell me your favorite wine!

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